1. |
DEAD
04:04
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I wanna know what it’s like to be dead
And fill that hole in my head
So when I have nothing to say
I can’t speak anyway
I wanna feel your presence behind my eyes
So when I’m telling my lies
You have seen what I’ve seen
And you’ll know who I’ve been
We should have never came here
And that’s clear to me now
But I’ve gotta find a way to get better
I’ve gotta find a way
It hurts all the time
But I’m still alive
Don’t you ever wonder why
It hurts all the time
But I’m still alive
Don’t you ever wonder why
It’ll stay with you always
Stays with you always
I’ll breathe in your fucking ruth till I’m numb
And I forget where I’m from
So when I have nowhere to stay
I can’t leave anyway
And I found out what it’s like to be dead
And filled that hole in my head
So when I had something to say
I couldn’t speak anyway
We should have never came here
And that’s clear to me now
But I’ve gotta find a way to get better
I’ve gotta find a way
It hurts all the time
But I’m still alive
Don’t you ever wonder why
It hurts all the time
Don’t you ever wonder why
It’ll stay with you always
Stays with you always
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2. |
look cool
02:28
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I have no reflection now
And I no longer breathe
I’ll abstain from sustenance
And I don’t need to sleep
Look cool dead
You gotta look cool dead man
(Don’t you like the way that I ride it)
Marlboro crater tattoos
Pain-Infliction chic
I’m the heavy of this episode
The same one as last week
Look cool dead
I wanna look cool dead man
(Don’t you like the way that I ride it)
I’m gonna look cool dead
I’m gonna look cool dead man
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3. |
ASHTRAY
03:32
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He’s got the money and the gun
Pull the trigger
He doesn’t drive unless he’s drunk
Hardly even talks
Words bleached his feathers
Cult sycophantic killed his son
Harvests better crop
Can’t open his jaw
I’m covered in white
And I’m reading my lines
The whispers turn grey
Till I have nothing to say
Before I was a communist I was a fascist pacifist
An anarchist on the wrist next in line
Hey hey hey hey
Louder
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4. |
||||
Hold me, kiss me
Softly, sweetly
With the gasmask you just add the happiness
When I was younger I thought that I was autistic
Oh my god, I’ve done it to myself
Shoegazer
Hold me, kiss me
Softly, sweetly
With the gasmask you just add the happiness
Sorry sir, but I wasn’t speaking to you
My son is also named Bort
We’ve grown
Not much is changing
Complete orbit and still searching for life
Below your soul is a cleansing of fire
Above our heads divine tollbooth
Below your soul is a cleansing of fire
Above our heads divine tollbooth
Sometimes I just need you to fuck me baby blue
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5. |
ALPHAPUPPY
03:03
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Alpha puppy likes it
Sell him the drugs
Hammers in the living room and ashing in our mugs
Cut the bank account in half to double my vision
Boot print to the face made a head on collision
There’s blood on the floor slipped in shit on the floor and you’ve taken all my money you can’t steal anymore
My stomach is sick and my memory is spotty bouncer stole my phone from me and said come back with twenty zloty
ALPHA PUPPY LIKES IT
Heard he was a legend when he danced around the bog
I couldn’t really see it when he beat me like a dog
I’m not sure if they’re all racist but I think they may be sadists I’d say half the lads in here in trackies sipping cans are rapists
Now I’m red eyed and vicious, paro and suspicious, walking home at dawn like a vampire with a day pass and I’m standing by a wall, can’t piss on these pills
Rehabilitate the illest mates while counting up his kills
ALPHA PUPPY LIKES IT
This is closer to a nightmare than a trip down memory lane
Steer the passengers to purgatory slinging that cocaine
There was acid crowley flippy in a gaff in HFA
From your wallet to your tongue to your stomach to your brain
Heisenberg in my wallet but I swear I didn’t want it
Heisenberg in my wallet but I swear I didn’t want it
I was never there
I was never there
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6. |
||||
Fantasize how you’ll miss me after the violence
But these words are so deafening when the action is silence
There’s something in my head
It says it wants me dead
I don’t wanna be here anymore
I’ve had joy and I’ve had pain
But I’ve always held on to both so hard because everything goes away
At least nothing is something
I have known all my life where I’m heading toward
But these are the happiest days that I’ve ever ignored
There’s something in my head
It says it wants me dead
I don’t wanna be here anymore
I’ve been lost and I’ve been sane
I’ve always held on to both so hard because that was who I was that day
At least nothing is something
I’m feeling so lonely
If you could just hold me
Baby I can barely breathe
Be here
Don’t wanna be here no more
Be here
Don’t wanna be here no more
Looks like tomorrow’s gone again
Looks like tomorrow’s gone
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7. |
||||
It’s in my head
And in my blood
But you need someone to count on
It’s in my head
Stays in my lungs
I can be someone to count on
The reason I feel love is so that I could give it to you
I’m afraid to lose my only joy if my sickness gets to you too
They tell me that’s what the drugs are for
You don’t need to feel anymore
They tell me that’s what the drugs are for
You don’t need to feel like this anymore
It’s in my head
It’s in my head
It strains my heart
Comfort me, say I’m just anxious
It’s in my head
It never stops
I think that it’s gonna destroy us
The reason I felt love was so that I could give it to you
Well now I’ve lost my only joy since our illnesses did what they do
They tell me that’s what the drugs are for
You don’t need to feel anymore
They tell me that’s what the drugs are for
There’s nothing left for you to feel anymore
All of me will fade away
Until I’m just a body
All I used to be will pass away
Then I’ll be happy
All of me will fade away
Until I’m just a body
All I used to be will pass away
When my mind short circuits
Deranged and artistic
Etching our time
On a weak pale skinned canvas
In the garden, in our dream
But loss is a weapon
I’d have killed myself long ago
If I’d known you were heaven
I’ll never let you go
But I’ll let you let me go
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8. |
L0V3
03:53
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If I come back I’ll be stronger
Stronger
I will finally fall asleep
And wait for you an eternity
Reach out touch your face
Freak out turn away
I’ve drank too much
I’ve said enough
So you wanna
So you think you wanna try and love me ?
So you wanna
So you think you wanna try and love me ?
My mind can’t be cleaned
Scars under my sleeves
I took too much
I’ve heard enough
So you wanna
So you think you wanna love me ?
So you wanna
So you think you wanna love me ?
If I come back I’ll be stronger
Stronger
I will finally fall asleep
And wait for you an eternity
So you wanna
So you think you wanna love me ?
So you wanna
So you think you wanna love me ?
They’ll never do what I do
They’ll never think how I think
They’ll never feel what I feel
But you do, but you do
Through the blood, and the cum, and the phlegm, and the vomit I am falling in love with you
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9. |
feels? like! home*
03:42
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I don’t want to remain here
Comforted by illness
I know you well, eased by you
I’ll die if the sadness feels like home
It won’t let go
I don’t want you to find me
Suspended above you
I’ll think about suicide
Until I have gone brain dead
Keep it cold Snowmiser
Keep it cold Snowmiser
Mr. Ten Below
I was just trying to get well
I was just trying to get well
Then I let go
Feels like home
Feels like home
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10. |
||||
I was nearly born with an umbilical noose around my neck
But my mother made the nurses check
And saved my life that first day
I was nearly DOA
And this is the hand that takes
And this is the hand that takes
I was so angry
I was so scared
I took some pills and then I-
I fell asleep
But I woke up
Say you’re happy for them
How could I tell you
I could never tell you
How could I look in your eyes and say who I am
So I will never tell you
I’ll keep searching for a reason to keep postponing all my plans
I suspected you were jealous of the rope I selected to be the noose around my neck
But honey it’s okay, you are the water in the bathtub that carries a shock from my toaster
I am who I am
I am Drew
I’m so scared I’ll take me from you
Everything I did
everything little thing I did
I want to tell you that I’m truly sorry
Everything I hid
everything little thing I hid
I want to tell you that I’m truly sorry
I’m not going to run this time
No I’m not going to run this time
This is the hand
The hand that takes
This is the hand
The hand that takes
Here come the planes
I am the hand
The hand that takes
There’s still some things I must work through
I’m so glad I’m still here with you
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